


And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

by magnacarta



Category: American Idol RPF, David Cook (Musician)
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-07
Updated: 2010-09-07
Packaged: 2017-10-23 05:57:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magnacarta/pseuds/magnacarta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a bluebird makes an appearance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

**Author's Note:**

> Angsty fic is angsty. Betaed by the lovely [](http://poppetawoppet.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**poppetawoppet**](http://poppetawoppet.dreamwidth.org/) :D

The bus was buzzing with nervous energy. The guys were dead tired, and half of them were already preparing themselves for sleep. Still, there was something in the air; it felt like too much static electricity or maybe the beginning of a storm.

David just wanted to close his eyes for a few minutes. He was still wearing his tour clothes. He knew he had to get changed, or else someone will end up kicking him just when he’d finally manage to fall asleep because he’d have stank up the whole bus.

Archie was sitting next to him, apparently unbothered by the smell David must be giving off. He was twitchy, legs kicking and fingers tapping on the arm of the couch they were sharing. As always, he was humming a song. It was something David couldn’t name, something soft and soothing. He’s hoping it will manage to calm Archie down.

“Cook? Cook? Are you still awake?”

Archie had stopped humming and was watching him intently. David could tell he was still nervous. He could feel Archie’s eyes piercing him, and searching for something. It wasn’t a conscious decision for David to pretend to be asleep; he was just so goddamn tired and Michael Johns was still using the bathroom. He just didn’t feel like opening his eyes more than a sliver, and obviously Archie missed the fact that he was very much awake.

“Cook, don’t hate me for this. I- I am going to do something crazy, okay?”

And before David could do anything, or start getting tense (if that was even possible when he was this close to being classified with the invertebrates), he felt a puff of hot air and soft lips touching his cheeks. Luckily for David, he was a damn good actor and succeeded in not giving himself up even if the surge of adrenaline the kiss gave him could probably make him do cartwheels.

Archie didn’t move for a few seconds, then sighed and went to sit with Jason a bit further down the bus.

David told himself he wasn’t disappointed. He didn’t want Archie to confront him with his feelings. He wasn’t even sure he had feelings to reciprocate. Archie was fun, and he was a good friend, but he was also awfully young.

It wasn’t that David didn’t know about Archie’s feelings for him. He didn’t know for sure until two seconds ago, but Archie hadn’t been exactly subtle about them. David had always found it strange that he was the only one Archie didn’t shy away from physically even when the little guy knew he was about to get bear-hugged.

David was not always a nice guy, but he’s got morals nevertheless. He was older. He was supposedly wiser. He never thought about having a relationship with a guy. He wasn’t kidding himself; he knew he couldn’t have anything with Archie but a relationship if he decided to give this a chance.

He wasn’t ready for this shit.

Johns finally got out of the small bathroom. David went straight in, determined to put the incident in the backburner. The warm air soothed his frazzled psyche.

  
*

  
For a while, everything was okay. Then one day, rumors of Archie dating started surfacing. Girls, and guys. Never dating the same person for very long. He's still calling David every once in a while. He still tells him almost everything, but never much about his love life.

David has never been more grateful for that reprieve. If Archie was not talking about it, then he can pretend it wasn't happening.

But it was inevitable that one day, Archie would find someone to settle down with. He was never one to be frivolous in his personal relationships. It looked like Eli would be the one. They’d been together for a few months now. And, no, David didn’t know precisely how many days they’ve been together. He wasn't really that desperate. Really.

The really frustrating thing was that David couldn't even hate Eli. The guy was nice. Nothing particularly wrong about him. He looked at Archie like he was his whole world. Eli was a bit flaky and geeky, but if it wasn't bothering Archie then it really shouldn't be bothering David.

David knew they were disgustingly cute together because there were pictures of them holding hands and kissing in the tabloids. Again, nothing outrageous. Girls and women were cooing over them as if they were newborn kittens. Even the crazy fans who wanted to marry Archie seemed to like Eli.

It took a month before Archie even tells (told) him that he's seeing someone. David tried not to be hurt about it. He mostly succeeded in denying he ever wrote some emo lyrics about the situation in his journal.

  
*

  
"Hey Cook!"

David could feel the smile coming off Archie even through the phone.

"Archie. How's it going buddy?"

"I'm good! Just calling to tell you that we're having a house-warming party Saturday. You'll be there, right?"

David didn't know about the party. In fact, he didn't know about the house either.

"What housewarming party?" He just couldn't hold back the sigh anymore. He was way past being hurt. He was resigned.

He wasn't surprised anymore as he listened to Archie babble an apology and explain how busy his life has been. David even promised to be there because, at least, he was still his friend.

  
*

  
"Oh Gosh! A bluebird?"

David had to smile at Archie's enthusiasm even though he was pretty sure Archie had no idea of the significance of a bluebird as a housewarming gift. David, himself, felt like a giant dork for giving that to them. But it was a gesture, and one he knew Eli would get.

And Eli did get it by the big grin he flashed David before Archie introduced them.

"Hi. Thank you," Eli said, his voice earnest and sincere. David hated himself for the residual dislike he still felt for Archie's boyfriend. He grimaced a smile back.

For the rest of the evening, while Archie was busy playing host, David made himself comfortable by the refreshment table. No hard liquor was found there, but it was not completely devoid of alcohol. Thank God.

It's possible David forgot he was a moody drunk, because after the fifth beer he lost all social skills and just went out in the yard alone with a six pack of Corona.

Letting go was probably the hardest thing David has ever done, and a part of him would always wonder. What if. But he really couldn't begrudge his friend, his best friend even, a bit of happiness.

He would always be on the sidelines, if he couldn’t be any closer, cheering them on.

That should be enough.


End file.
